I’m sorry, Nick, but: how many games did I win against you? TWO?! No joke!

Today, I went to watch Nick play rugby. A game where the defence score and the forwards…defend. Yu-huh. For real. I think Britain’s game-inventing genius kinda went AWOL after golf and football. I mean, football makes sense (half the time – though with the offside rule I might acquire some disagreement) and there’s nothing confusing about getting a ball into a hole in the least amount of shots possible. It’s just common sense!But rugby? I think you can understand why there’re no films such as, ‘Remember the Sale Sharks’ or ‘The Longest Metre’. It’s just confusing. Plus, from what I remembered after reading Jason Robinson’s autobiography, there are two kinds: rugby union and the other one. Each with different rules, and their own leagues.

In my opinion, the main rule of rugby should be: get the ball to the other end over the line. But the ref will stop play for bizarre reasons (eg. one player grabbing another’s shirt – did you miss the stud-stamping just a second ago?! Is that not more illegal!?) and then once you score you get another shot kicking the thing (apparently it’s a ‘ball’ – I thought ball always referred to something vaguely spherical in shape?!) to get more points. Now, come on, isn’t scoring in the first place reward enough? No need to rub salt in the wound.

Anyway, I digress. Nick played well – (I think so anyway, because I really don’t know what ‘well’ involves in this game) – and Camphill crushed the other team. I don’t think I ever got the score. Something – 0? Who knows.

Hmm.

I discovered today that Tesco Metro doesn’t do good deals on stuff like fruit and veg. Bullring (outdoor) markets do some sweet deals (quote: 3 (big) pineapples for £1!) and grapes taste good. And the red colour in red wine comes from the skin of red grapes, because the inside of a red grape is green. Just like green grapes.

Don’t laugh. This is serious knowledge.

Got to see Sue again. She is the best Mom-That-Isn’t-Mine mom in the world.

Got to see Mel again. She is the best Melonie-I’ve-Ever-Known in the world.

Got to see Witney again. She is the best Not-Yet-A doctor in the world.

I’m not very technologically inclined. If a thing doesn’t work when it’s plugged in, then I don’t know what to do. You know why this is? It’s because of the environment in which I was brought up:

Macs just work.

Speaking of Macs, guess what?
– Alan has a Mac.
– Chrissy has a Mac.
– Cat has a Mac.
– Ross has a Mac.
– Sam has a Mac.
– Debra has a Mac.
– I have a Mac.
– Bert has a Mac.

– George has…problems.

– Nick…Yeah.

(By the way, this list is for all of you out there with lock picks and an e-bay account.)

‘Course, Bert didn’t have to convert me to Apple. I was already on the path to truth, light and freedom when I arrived in iD land. However, he has successfully turned many souls from darkness in his time at BCEC.

Remember, guys: You can’t eat Windows. Windows users also cannot roll their tongues or flick their fingers Ali-G style. (Shout out to Khang.)

On that uplifting note, I am going to retire and play some gee-tar ’til Debra comes back. She’s already past curfew. That girl…She’ll get a talking-to when I see her! Hanging out with that guy again. You know the one I mean, yeah, that’s the one.

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