First (half) Day in America


Advertising
One of the things I first noticed (as a seasoned and aware media student) is how shameless the advertising is over here. It’s not dissimilar to being in the the company of someone who is oblivious to the concept of ‘personal space’ and talks to you with their nose less than 3 inches from yours… It doesn’t even seem to faze them when their eyes struggle and eventually succumb to the knowledge of their inability to focus in macro. There’s none of the shrewd subtleties you find in the better British adverts, none of the cleverness or quick wit.

Long Flights
However, they still end up giving me a sense of inadequacy, wandering around Chicago’s O-Hare airport in a purple H&M hoodie, Skechers and a pair of NEXT jeans – though I may be very comfortable in comparison to the many others speed-walking past me, I don’t feel presentable. Even more so after 8 plus hours at 37,000ft, and another 6 hours in one airport or another, but I s’pose it helped in warding off any possibility of varicose veins before another commuting flight.

American? British?
Even after a couple hours Stateside, I already noticed some of the things that I missed – mostly familiarity. I love adventure and new experience, but it makes me very apprehensive, entering a new situation and not knowing what to do or say. Where in England, overhearing an American accent would attract my attention, just hearing a British accent here raised a subtle conection between me and home. Sure, I’m half American, half Finnish, but in every sense of the word, home is Britain. Specifically, Birmingham, that awesome, drug-ridden, gun-running second city. Bullring’s nice, though. I mean, I’ve lived there for the past 10 – 11? – years, now.

Being in America will be fun, though. I’m gonna be returning with tons of photos, fun stories to share and… a bottle of Mountain Dew, loads of peanut butter M&Ms and Lucky Charms. (Grossness.) It’ll be a learning point, I think. I may have the passport, half the nationality and some of the accent, but in a line-up I’d fail miserably as an American. I think what would first go against me would be the fact that I find myself laughing because Americans actually DO what you see them do in TV programmes. Haha.

LOST.
Just a thought: Do you wonder what happened to the flight crew on the plane in LOST? On a plane THAT big, there would surely be enough staff, spread out in enough places, that at least one of them would make it alive. I mean, it’s so far-fetched in other ways that the survival of one of them seems a sane proposal. Or did one of them survive? I don’t watch anymore.

The SkyMall Catalogue
Browsing through the catalogue you find on your plane definitely distracts you from anal thoughts (such as the one above). Guess what this is?

King of all iPod docking stations:
Why do we call it the king? Because it’s the only
docking station made especially for the “throne” room.

Yep! The iCarta toilet roll dispenser/iPod speaker system, for just $99.99. Also, the ‘arms fold when not in use’ – added incentive!

King Docking Station

Or how about a ‘Lifelike indoor/outdoor Royal Palm Tree’ – the perfect Christmas tree with white lights – ‘Kids love it – more space for gifts!’. Prices range from $199.99 for a 6 footer to $259.99 for a colossal 8 feet of blinking, tropical, Christmas feeling.

Royal Palm Tree

There’s some pretty interesting stuff in here but, seriously, do people actually buy the Portable Inflatable Whirpool Spas? There is even what looks suspiciously like a Mac, most likely a Powerbook G4 (no iSight), but they’ve changed the desktop wallpaper to a very Windows-eque gray. Ew.

Plus, the Memory Foam Mattress sounds like a scam, trying to get rid of something that doesn’t return to its original shape. However, the 3D pool table sounds like an awesome idea. Check it out:

3D Pool Table

And the GorillaPod – not what you first think, but quite handy. The Lighted Slippers would also be useful when the powers gone from your house and you are unable to turn the light switches on when you go for your midnight snack. And the Firefly Survival Poncho might save your life in a devastating fire, but you’ll still look ridiculous, even if you’re slightly more alive than you might have been without.

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